wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
