Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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