he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
