Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
my being single is dangerous.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
