And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
