so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
