I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
