I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
