its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
