My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Let's get the cat blown out
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize