you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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