good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
