I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
