there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he was CRYING into my vagina
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize