the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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