so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
