But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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