didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize