let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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