also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just gift wrapped bread.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
