clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
