i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
