So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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