I could have mohawked her pubes.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
