Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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