So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
