I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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