I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize