Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
