Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
