they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
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