do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
