I just cut my nipple shaving
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
