I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
