I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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