I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
They are going to name an STD after you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
