Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize