Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The beer is more important than you right now.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
