I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
