I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize