If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so explain again why im purple
no
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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