he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
