She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I came so hard my ears popped.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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