I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
