He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
