im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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