Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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