# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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