Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
