omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
