Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
