Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
