It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
