im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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