So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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