I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
