he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
