Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
