I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
